Midnight Taco Doritos and Miss Mimi Monroe

When I convinced John to move with me to Las Vegas, he asked if we could have a dog. Okay. Never in my life had I considered having a dog. I never really had the desire to have something to take care of, other than a partner. I shun taking on new responsibilities as it probably can be attributed to my fear of failure. I wouldn't want to take on the responsibility of a dog and then let it down by not providing a good home. Retail can do that when you have a dog- sometimes it will be 12 hours by the time you are back home to let the dog out and when you do, you have to turn back around to pick up the dry cleaning, stop at the grocery and return the movie you rented last night. I also disliked when after work, I wanted a friend to stop and have a drink or dinner with me and they would say, "I can't. I have to go home to let out the dog first." I just thought having a dog seemed so not glamorous and really an overall, bad idea.

One should know that I am also allergic to dogs. I think this also wiped out the possibility of ever having a dog for a pet. One time I was at Johnny's and a dog hair flew into my eye and I ended up in the emergency room that night because my face had doubled in size from an allergic reaction. Any time I get a dog near me who likes to lick even my hand, my entire arm will break out in hives and won't go away easily. So I think it goes without saying that I was not fond of dogs and was never going to be a "dog person."

I promised John that we would get him a pug. He kept saying that he wanted a girl pug and that was all he wanted. Well, of course this was an expense that I could not see paying. I had a hard time keeping up with bills as it was and did not want to add another expense to our household, aside from the initial cost of buying a pure-bred pug. So in the meantime, John brought home pet after pet with minimal cost and upkeep. He brought home fish, cats, hamsters, guinea pigs, hermit crabs and played with ducks at the park down the street. He. Still. Wanted. A. Dog.

Shortly after moving to Vegas, John began working at an Animal Hospital as a receptionist and he became an amazingly dedicated employee. He became attached with animals that had to see the veterinarian regularly. He became friends with animals that were being boarded or held for several days after surgeries. When he came home from work, he would tell me stories about awful incidents that animals had been through that day and how he could help nurse them to become better. The doctors at the hospital started having John do more in the back of the hospital instead of at the front desk. He has a way with animals that is sometimes annoying to me. If there is an animal and John is in the room, the animal will be drawn to him like a magnet. That animal will completely ignore me and go to John. The doctors recognized his "Dog Whisperer" qualities and used it to their advantage. He could keep a dog calm, stop them from barking and crying and keep them in one place.

So when he called me at work, which he only did in the event of an emergency, my heartbeat was going a mile a minute. I thought something awful had happened. He told me that a woman who worked for the Pug Rescue had come in and was looking for someone to adopt a pug that had fallen under their wing. John explained that we did not have any money to get shots up to date and the doctors in the office agreed that they would give the dog all of the necessary care if he would just give the dog a home. The lady said she would stop by the house that evening with the dog and she would have to visit with me and see the house to be sure we could give the dog a good home. Okay. How could I let him turn that offer down? My excuse for not following through with my promise at that point was a valid one- I had no money to buy a dog. But now, with a completely free, pure-bred, girl pug I couldn't avoid the dog situation for even a few more hours.

When the dog arrived with the nice lady at our home, the dog seemed very sweet. She warned me that it was because of the medication she was under at the hospital, and she would be a little perkier in the morning. She said the dog had been living with bigger, more violent dogs and not getting along, so the family had agreed to put her up for adoption. We took her that night and she has been ours ever since. I was not thrilled. I was not embracing the adoption. I tried to, but only for a minute. The dog did come out of her medicated slumber and she had way more energy than I could have imagined.

Her previous owners named her Meatball. Strange. We couldn't figure out why they would name a little girl dog Meatball. We decided that there must have been a child involved in the naming process and they just happened to be eating meatballs for dinner that night and they named her this haphazardly. Well our dog could not be named Meatball- John would end up turning this dog into the World's Biggest Princess within minutes of the adoption and she would need a name that was suitable to live up to this title. He tossed it around for about 27 seconds and decided that she would be named after two of his favorite people: Mariah Carey and Marilyn Monroe. What a combination. Mimi Monroe became her name. She does not look like Marilyn and does not sound like Mariah.

Soon John had to make trips to the pet stores for dog treats, dog foods, dog bowls, dog bones, dog toys, dog beds, dog leashes, dog collars, and dog costumes. Every extra penny had to go to the dog and then even if we got her a collar or harness, he would see an even prettier one two days later that he had to have for her. I started getting annoyed at how much attention the dog gets and how little attention the depleted funds in our savings account got. I was not happy with the dog in bed- she snored and she wiggled around, keeping me awake all night. I didn't like her next to me and I didn't want to be her friend.

Well, now, a few years later, she has won me over. Believe it or not, even though John is her best buddy, she is also my friend. I cannot help but look at her and laugh sometimes, as she makes the funniest faces and has a personality that melts my heart. I am not the person that you could call "a dog person," but I do think of her in so many situations. Sometimes I think of her even before John does- and I will say something like, "We have to get home, I cannot let her sit there and wait to go outside anymore- we have to go now." And John will look at me in amazement, surprised that I thought of her before he did. She sleeps next to me now, usually under the covers. She sits in the kitchen with me while I cook dinner, anxiously awaiting a nibble, yes, but also very interested in being by my side. She does not like when John and I are in separate rooms, she will run back and forth until we finally end up in the same spot. She tries to give equal attention to both of us and being in separate rooms exhausts that attempt. We dress her up in pretty, little dresses, which she loves- she will often go into the closet to the drawers where her clothes are and choose an outfit to wear. Sometimes she won't fit into her clothes and this depresses her pretty, little face. She has yet to go on a diet though.

In fact, diet is far from her mind. She, like most dogs, is constantly scouting for more food and she just can't ever seem to get enough. This is probably one of the reasons she has become my friend. Whenever I take her outside in the evening, when we get back inside I have to give her a treat. She won't let me forget. She will jump around in circles, stand on her hind legs, do a back flip, pirouette and a curtsy. One day I didn't have anymore dog treats available and I panicked. I didn't know what to give her and thought, "well, she likes anything." I peered into the pantry and saw a new bag of Midnight Taco Doritos and tried giving her a couple of those crumbled up. She devoured them and now they are her favorite dog treat. Don't kid yourself. Like I said. She will eat anything- but now she knows the Doritos and for awhile it was our little secret. John has found us out and we can't always be giving her this junk food. But he is rarely here when it's time to take her out and she can have the ultimate dog treat- Midnight Taco Doritos. Her favorite food.