Bacon Double Cheeseburger and Kate & Allie

In my last year of high school, my parents decided to take off to the Midwest and I pretty much refused to go. I like to think that I was a rebel with a cause, but I know the fact is, that my Mom really tried to let me stay and that is how it came to be. I am glad she did that and at the same time, regret not going with them. I know if I did go to Ohio with them, my life would be completely different today and I can't help but think I might have done a few things differently.

The time that I spent in Connecticut alone, though, was not all bad. I had my friend David, who quickly grew to be one of my best friends. I am glad to still be in touch with him. If it weren't for him, I am not sure that I would even own the "Like A Prayer" album. There is also my friend Donna, who I am also glad to still know, who was ultimately the one to plan out how I would stay in Enfield, CT the following summer. All of us met at Caldor, "your everyday discount store." I am sad that I lost touch with them for so long and have missed out on so much of their lives. I don't know how things like that happen when Mrs. Gates, who was my manager at Caldor, managed to keep in touch with me for years and I am grateful to have had her as a mentor. Little did I know, way back then, that I would still be in retail all of these years later. On my first day, Mrs. Gates told me, "Don't be nervous, you will be fine. All you have to do is be nice, that really is our only job."

I hated being alone in Connecticut. The tiny little guest quarters that Mom paid the rent for (and cable and electricity and phone) was not a fun place to hang out alone. My friend David usually accompanied me after school and on weekends. We could always hang out and watch our Saved By the Bell episodes and eat our chips & salsa. But at night, I was left to fend for myself. Most of the time I closed the store and would walk out with my managers, Mrs. Gates or Lori. Lori Cummings was one of my biggest supporters and she really believed in me and thought I was going to be the next Calvin Klein. I loved her. She was the Softlines manager and although it was just Caldor, she tried so hard to make it fashionable. When she couldn't, she would pull the new clothes that came in and we would make jokes about them and try to imagine who would buy them. Lori and I were always close, even when I was the switchboard operator. Once I was "promoted" to Head Cashier, we became even closer. I got to take my breaks with her and we would pour through the tabloids and Vogue magazines to make fun of the crazy clothes people wore.

I would head through a drive-thru, fast food restaurant immediately following work, whether I worked in the afternoon or at night. I would usually go through the Burger King one because it was right there, in the Caldor parking lot. I would order a couple of Bacon Double Cheeseburgers and maybe even a Chicken Sandwich. The cheeseburger was probably the most fattening thing on the menu, but had the perfect combination of cheese and bacon. The entire thing would be microwaved to the point that the cheese acted as glue and held the whole thing together. There was no pesky sauce, no tomato or lettuce to fall out.

I wouldn't even begin eating one until I made it home, usually about 10pm and turned on the TV. I would watch Kate and Allie reruns while I ate my food. Jane Curtin and Susan St. James. I watched them become caterers and I remember thinking how much I wanted to run a business like that one. Too bad I wasn't inspired enough to cook something a little more gourmet than the burgers I ate. I would be disappointed once the second episode was almost over because I knew at that point, all I would have was the 11 o'clock news, darkness and nobody to talk to. I don't ever remember feeling more alone in my life than at the moment the news came on and I am so thankful to now be surrounded by friends who are available past 11pm.