Mayonnaise and Mom

I have thought for a long time that I should include the topic of mayonnaise in my blog. Truly, in order to include it, I had to think about how mayonnaise became such a topic on my food brain. Well, I know where it started. It was because of my mother.

Mom loves a good burger. She doesn't make simple burgers in the sense that she won't make them unless she has all of the ingredients. One of the many meals that Mom always came back to, was the hamburger and frozen, crinkle cut fries. She would make her burger patties in advance and keep them on one of her Corelle plates, wrapped in plastic wrap in the fridge until it was almost time to eat. Meanwhile, she would prep her toppings- lettuce, tomato and onion. Please note that I do not remember her placing cheese on the burgers. She didn't spend much of her grocery budget on the bun, but she got the ones with sesame seeds on top. With fries in the oven, she would fire up her aluminum fry pan and get the burgers going. It usually took her a few batches to make burgers for all of us (some of us requested two patties).

She would leave the fries on the cookie sheet on top of the stove and you could serve yourself. I would grab my plate, with bun open and get my fries. At the kitchen table, she would have the veggies spread out on a couple of plates and condiments in the middle. Mom always, always reached for the mayonnaise first. Dad always, always commented on this. He would say something like, "Whoever heard of a hamburger with mayonnaise on it?" I have to admit. I was not a fan of the mayo option on a burger at first. It took me a while to try it. Not my brother. My brother always put mayonnaise on his, too. He was also ridiculed by my father for this bizarre condiment choice.

I finally got my nerve up to try mayonnaise on one of my burgers and I have never turned back. In fact, I no longer put ketchup or mustard on my homemade burgers. Only mayonnaise. Occasionally, the conversation regarding mayonnaise would escalate between my parents at the dinner table. Dad would continue telling her she was crazy and Mom would tell him that he doesn't appreciate Hellmann's Mayonnaise (Best Foods brand, West of the Rocky Mountains) because he grew up with Miracle Whip. I don't know if this is true. But Mom did the grocery shopping and you would never have seen a jar of Miracle Whip in the refrigerator at our house. I didn't even know what Miracle Whip was until I was at a friend's house in sixth grade. His mother told us we could make a sandwich and when asked what I would like on mine, I asked for mayonnaise and was handed the Miracle Whip jar. It didn't even look the same and I knew when I reached my knife into the jar, I was not getting mayonnaise. But I figured, "How bad could it be?" I have refused to eat the self-proclaimed "salad dressing" ever since.

Here is what happened in a nutshell. My mother created mayonnaise monsters. Honestly, sometimes I think my brother and I are the mayonnaise police. We often note at parties that someone has made potato salad or macaroni salad with Miracle Whip. These are not very miraculous salads. I beg of you, if you are someone who creates these salads, please warn me before I take a bite. Mom typically served mayonnaise-based salads if we were grilling out. In the summer months, since we were not in school, she would make a giant bowl of macaroni salad and leave it in the fridge for us to snack on. Usually, it was gone the next day. We craved mayonnaise.

I still only use real mayonnaise in my house and luckily I have found a partner who is on my side. His mother, too, has always used real mayonnaise. Recently, we were invited to a friends' house and she made deviled eggs. I love deviled eggs. I dove toward the tray and John grabbed my hand and said, "Uhhhh, Miracle Whip, trust me." I didn't know what to do. I already had one in my hand. I didn't want to be rude and put it back on the tray. I certainly didn't want to get up and throw it away. I decided to just eat the egg in one bite and deal with the consequences. I still cannot handle the taste. I want to, I do. I sometimes can be found buying the salads in the grocery deli department. They look so good in the container. I even go towards ones that say "Mustard Potato Salad," figuring that with all that mustard in there, maybe I won't taste the Miracle Whip. I usually end up taking a bite or two and throwing it away. John is probably smarter than me- he doesn't take a bite at all. I'm glad that he doesn't. I would have to question my relationship with anyone who has a different opinion than mine. I will never have Miracle Whip sitting next to my Hellmann's and I resent that I have to look at the "salad dressing" jars next to the mayonnaise at the grocery store. I cringe everytime.

I continue to make Mom's burgers, with lettuce, tomato, onion and mayonnaise. I even like dipping my fries in mayo. I have saved the recipe for chocolate cake on the back of my Hellman's label. Yes, mayonnaise in my chocolate cake, folks! You can sometimes hear my mother say things like, "Just add a scoop of mayo to the recipe, it makes it so much better!" My brother, on the other hand.... I think I have even seen him eat a hot dog with mayonnaise once.